Feeling the Blues

Ever just wanted tp be left alone? That's how I have been feeling here lately. Lately it seems like Robert and I are fighting more and more over finances, and we just don't communicate. Helping out my parents at times puts a strain on my marriage. So many times I am trying to turn to God for strength and also for refuge, but then there are times that I feel so alone. Even though I know that He is there with me.
Being with my mom and daddy and just hearing how poor they are, how broke they are, and how daddy just wants to basically give up and sell everything; it wears on your nerves. I understand that they are having money issues, but so are we (my husband and myself). There are times that is seems like they are not taking that into consideration. I am away from my husband for 4-5 days a week, and then trying to cram everything into two days gets old. There are nights I long for my husband's company.

Early this morning at 2:30 on March 20, 2013 daddy had a seizure. Mom and I had no idea what to do so we called 9-1-1. We were both woken up because of our bladders, and something told me to go to the kitchen and that's when I saw the light on in their bedroom. That is when I figured out something was wrong. Daddy was snoring really loud and was in coherent. It scared both of us. Mama finally called 9-1-1 and that is when they said that he had a seizure. Blood sugar was high, and his blood pressure was low. I finally got back to sleep about 5am after going to sleep about 12:15. It's been a long day. Daddy has slept most of the day. Today I just felt depressed, and very alone. Today has been a day I just wished for my husband's arms! My sister said something that was like a slap in the face and after she said it I could see it, but she said "Dad is going down fast." How true that is! I know that my daddy has accepted Christ into his heart, but I am not ready to see him go yet. I am a daddy's little girl and I wanted to fight her on this, but in the deepest part of my heart I knew that it was true. We have our good days and we have our bad days. It seems on the good days he is 49 soon to be 50 years old, but then on the bad days it seems like the 49 soon becomes 89 years old. This also wears on a person. I think I just need a vacation!